It’s in the (Jesus) Bag!

I was going grocery shopping the other day and went to my trunk to get out some bags.  After digging around for awhile, as my trunk is quite full and disorganized (read a freakin’ hot mess and there is still hay in there from when I bought a hay bale for a fall display outside my house) I came across a bag I hadn’t seen or used in a long time.  I refer to this bag as the Jesus bag because as you can see there are pictures of Jesus all over it! I miss a lot of my friends from Illinois.  I received this bag as a gift from my dear friend Eleni  for my birthday some years ago.  I remember receiving the package in the mail and on the outside of the mailing envelope it said “THIS HAD ‘KELLY’ WRITTEN ALL OVER IT” and was instantly afraid of what might be inside.  Eleni has a very warped sense of humor and I made sure I was alone when I opened the package as I was sure that whatever she sent me would likely involve garden gnomes and something inappropriate – that’s just the way she is.  Was I ever surprised when I pulled out that bag.

Completely understanding her sense of humor I laughed out loud and thought to myself when would I ever use this bag.  First of all it’s huge, second of all it’s plastic and third, well it has very serious looking pictures of Jesus all over it.  This was hardly the height of fashion!  I took a picture of it and posted it to my Facebook page (back when I was on fb a lot) and the commentary was quite interesting.  Everything from “That is a beautiful bag,” from my very devout sister to “That is grossly sacrilegious!” from my equally devout mom, to “Where in the world did you get that?” from lots of other people.  I found it very interesting the range of reactions and the emotion that this bag illicited from people.  At one point I remember commenting something along the lines of “If you’re feeling down, angry, depressed or whatever, just put it in the Jesus bag!”  This went over well and not so well depending on the person.  Very curious indeed!

It wasn’t very long after that posting that I decided this bag was perfect for grocery shopping.  I could fit A LOT of stuff in the Jesus bag and I used to play a game with myself called “How Much Can You Carry Up Three Flights Of Stairs Without Your Arms Falling Off?” and this would really help my game!  One bag, one shot, done!  So off I went to Trader Joe’s. When I got to the check out I unfolded the Jesus bag.  “Wow, that’s an interesting bag, ” said the cashier.  “Yeah isn’t it?” I replied.  The woman in the next line over stared at the bag.  Then she stared at me.  Her eyes were bugging out of her head.  In Illinois you can buy liquor in the grocery stores and the wine I was buying for a party went into the Jesus bag.  The woman in the next lane over actually “Tsk’d” at me! What, didn’t you know Jesus turned water into wine?  The cashier said, “So I guess you’re really religious huh?”   I was a bit surprised.   “I am a religious person but I wouldn’t say ‘pretty religious’. “.  The cashier looked at the bag then at me.  I just shrugged.  And smiled.

Never judge a person by what they wear or what they carry.  Or by anything for that matter.   You never know the story behind things or maybe there isn’t one.  I use the JB because its practical and it reminds me of my friend.  I’m glad I found it again!   We will see how it does here in MD!

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Kelly Bojan

About Kelly Bojan

Kelly has been involved in the fitness industry for over 15 years. An interest in teaching classes in the 90's became a passion for all aspects of the industry. In addition to being an A.C.E. certified personal trainer and Power Pilates instructor, Kelly has managed several small chain and privately owned clubs. In the past eight years, she was the fitness and program director at a privately owned club. Kelly is the Assistant Program Director at Evolutions helping to generate ideas, quarterly challenges, assist with staff communication and auditing classes.


  1. Michael Sallustio | March 28, 2013 at 12:40 pm

    I wonder what kinds of reactions a “satan bag” would elicit ;-)

    • Janet Darlington | April 6, 2013 at 4:43 pm

      Love that comment? I probably would’ve loved your bag and made a big deal over it in front of everyone, just to shock them some more!!!!! LOL

  2. Janet Darlington | April 6, 2013 at 4:43 pm

    I love this article and her sense of humor …. Jesus certainly has one!!!!!!

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